I've been told that God has a reason for everything. I have always believed this but after searching for the meaning over a long period of time with no answers, you really start to wonder. For years I had been battling depression and all that it has to offer. If you have ever been severely depressed you know that your thinking changes and you begin to lose hope. I began to question God and why He would allow me to feel as bad as I did for so long and not help me. It didn't take long for me to think of God as one big bully. I quit praying, going to church, and allowed myself to fill with anger at the mention of God.
In March of 2008, I met someone who would change it all.
Marcus and I met on a blind date set up by his coworker and my parents. I am somewhat of a hermit and my parents wanted me to get out of the house. Marcus had recently moved back to Stillwater and needed someone to show him around (or so they said.) Needless to say, we hit it off from the beginning. We didn't have much in common beyond the fact that we were both pretty much at rock bottom.
Somehow, in the next several months we both managed to pull each other up and glue ourselves back together. Neither could have done it without the other person. Looking back now it is so obvious to me the meaning it all. We were both so beautifully screwed up that we wouldn't have met if our lives had worked out the way we had planned. (Don't get me wrong I still wish I could have learned what I know now a different way, but I don't think things would worked themselves out quite as well.) After hitting rock bottom, then being squished 30 feet beyond that, God brought me someone who could pull me up past the happiest I have ever been. No, things aren't perfect and I still have a lot of work to do in the faith department, but I have proof that God works in mysterious ways and He does in fact, listen.
In March of 2008, I met someone who would change it all.
Marcus and I met on a blind date set up by his coworker and my parents. I am somewhat of a hermit and my parents wanted me to get out of the house. Marcus had recently moved back to Stillwater and needed someone to show him around (or so they said.) Needless to say, we hit it off from the beginning. We didn't have much in common beyond the fact that we were both pretty much at rock bottom.
Somehow, in the next several months we both managed to pull each other up and glue ourselves back together. Neither could have done it without the other person. Looking back now it is so obvious to me the meaning it all. We were both so beautifully screwed up that we wouldn't have met if our lives had worked out the way we had planned. (Don't get me wrong I still wish I could have learned what I know now a different way, but I don't think things would worked themselves out quite as well.) After hitting rock bottom, then being squished 30 feet beyond that, God brought me someone who could pull me up past the happiest I have ever been. No, things aren't perfect and I still have a lot of work to do in the faith department, but I have proof that God works in mysterious ways and He does in fact, listen.
Well said, I love you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you Courtney. This is God's perfect plan and it is so great to see you so happy. A lot of people love you and have prayed many years for this day. Dad and I feel so blessed by you and the journey that brought you to this place and all the prayers of family and friends on your behalf.
ReplyDeleteNow, that makes ME happy. I once played softball on a Sunnybrook team. Tom Moll would fill in if we needed players, and his son Brian would usually play with us. One game, we were smearing the other team, scoring runs at will. Brian had just circled the bases and came back into the duggout with this huge grin and shouted "This is great, we usually never hit like this". I looked at Tom and said "Isn't it fun to watch your kids have fun?". I know some day you will esperience the same thing. We have a soft spot for our children. Your highs are our highs, and your lows are our lows. GREAT to see you on a high. And you are right, God's works are amazing. I came home from work with no greeting from Bubba. I brought the other two in from the backyard to feed them, and almost picked up Bubba's bowl out of habbit. Bummer, until I read your blog. Fun to watch you having fun! L,D
ReplyDeleteCourtney, Your blog is so true-I'm glad that you see this is God working in his wonderful way! I know first hand that life is rough sometimes. After going through my divorce and hitting rock bottom, I had no idea what the meaning of it all was, I too was questioning my faith and wondering why God would have allowed this to happen to one of his children. Now looking back I know it took all of that to lead me to Keegan, and into the wonderful life I now have and to look into the beautiful face of our smiling child. I went through some more rough times right after Isaac was born, and again had to wonder what it was all about and why I was having such a rough time of things again. I sought counseling, and was told some very wise things that I will always take with me. The first was a question from the counselor. She asked where I would be in my walk with God if there weren't some rough times? She said through the rough times He desperately wants us to seek him and not push him away. He is trying to show us something-mine was how to trust him. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you! He will take care of you in every situation you find yourself in! I didn't always believe that myself, but I do now!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Julie