For the last month or so I have had a heavy heart. -Nothing to worry about, it's nothing serious Mom.- However, I have felt the need to cry but every time I get close I tell myself, "Courtney, you are being so stupid. Who cries about this? No one. Suck it up, you're fine." I'll be reading an email my mother forwarded me, a sweet commercial, a song on the radio, a situation on reruns of Grey's Anatomy that I must have seen 4 times already and all of the sudden my chin starts to quiver and I get that unflattering scrunched up look on my face. Anyway, I think the reason it hasn't gone away is because I'm not letting it out.
SO... Tonight Marcus is in OKC until late so I am having my first scheduled pity party. I'm pulling out all of my movies that make me cry... Beaches, The Family Stone, Finding Neverland and Steel Magnolias. I'm going to cry, eat what is left of my fresh pineapple, and cuddle with my puppy. Then tomorrow, I'll clean up the tissue, put away the movies and move on. Hopefully my experiment will be a success.
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